Madrid Gastro Guide, 1

Chapter 8 paragraph 1, of another bloody gastro guide in my Spanish home, Madrid!

Madrid, el corazón de España (the heart of Spain). I don't say this to start an argument with anyone. I have just lived in Madrid for three years, so it is undoubtedly the heart of Spain in my book, and well, it is in the centre of the country after all.

I also don't say this for no food-related reason either (duh). The geographics of Madrid have shaped its food because as it is not near the sea, the food is naturally more meaty than fishy and generally frugal, too. Why waste pigs' ears when you can eat them? Lamb's intestine? Twirl it on a stick to make tapas of course. Find snails in the woods, did you? Perfect for cooking up. That's what the Madrileños (people from Madrid) say anyway, and I am obliged to agree.

I'm splitting my Madrid guides into two, maybe three! Because I have an obscene amount of content and thoughts on Madrid and don't want to keep you too long each time. Even though there is more to read, just as the Spanish do, take your time; there are a lot of juicy bits to digest.

So without further or do, let's crack on with part one of another bloody gastro guide in Madrid, somewhat themed, frugal Madrid, making the unpalatable palatable, Lana's shameless guide to VERY non-vegan friendly food in Madrid,

¡ Vamos! (Let's Go!) Got your brave hat on?

---

Feast on tapas, Madrid styley at Casa Toni

Every time I walk into Casa Toni, I fully arrive back in Madrid. Will there be a seat? Or am I lucky to elbow my way into a standing spot by the bar (the best place for quicker service). The tables and chairs themselves are stumpy, uncomfortable, and too small. The types of chairs and tables that encourage you to eat quickly and leave for the next person to have a shot. If you're not used to Madrid's style of service, or Spain in general, you may walk out bereft. Why am I being ignored by the waiter? Where is the menu? What is going on? But believe it or not, in the centre of Madrid (Plaza Sol), Casa Toni is ready to welcome you in their unique way, where the vermouth is on tap, the food flows off the grill, and the people flow in and out, like a ballet dance to the tune of the waiter shouting orders to the grill.

ZARAJOS is painted on the outside in red to warn you that you can (and probably should) eat lamb's intestines inside. I won't hold you to that. But I will have you try the mollejas (lamb sweetbreads). They are my personal favourite, the perfect, if you ask me, way in, which are more like butter in taste than strong offal. Alongside the weird and wonderful at Casa Toni's, you'll also find more crowd-pleasing dishes like Gazpacho (cold tomato soup), patatas bravas (spicy potatoes), anchovies in vinegar, Padron peppers, lamb cutlets, aubergines a la plancha (on the grill), mushrooms a la plancha, you get the drift.

Offend the French with a pot of caracoles a la madrileña

Behind the bar at Casa Amadeo Los Caracoles you’ll be welcomed by an alluring pot of caracoles a la madrileña (snails Madrid style). Madrid style, is to cook them up flavoured in a broth made with chorizo, paprika and off cuts of pork, cayenne, tomato and sometimes morcilla (blood sausage). Why you say? well, because Madrileños are frugal you see, and once upon a time, snails were abundant in the orchards and vineyards of the towns that surrounded the capital to the north: Chamartín, Hortaleza, Fuencarral, Canillas. At Casa Amadeo, Amadeo, cooks up a snaily storm, to keep this tradition alive. Amaedo (very old but young at heart) also happens to be a legend, so even if you don’t want to eat snails, you should go there in hope to see him. Just don’t feed them to a French man.

Line your stomach with a delicious bowl of stomach lining

Look, okay, it's bloody tripe. I won't beat around the bush with anyone. I'm not going to hide or run away from the truth: tripe is the lining of a cow's stomach, and in Madrid, we can't get enough of the stuff, cooked either with or without chickpeas and named callos. Basically, what happens is if you try it once or twice, you'll think, okay, that's not my favourite. Where are gambas al ajillo (garlic prawns) at? Then one fateful chilly afternoon after a long walk about Madrid, you will be in a Spanish bar drinking your glass of vermouth, and you'll see a steaming hot bowl of callos come out of the kitchen, and your mind, body, soul, will scream at you, to say, I want that and only that, I need that. I don't know why; it's just a thing that happens, okay?

Still frugal, more pricey, but perfect, were these callos, which I was lucky enough to eat in the one Michelin star Montia Restaurant in San Lorenzo de El Escorial (the town where I used to live) by chef and someone I know, Dani Ochoa. Now you know just how deep callos sit into the guts of Madrid. You’ve been warned.

Forget your crisps or pork scratchings, and get your pigs ears in

I've said it before, and I'll repeat it: we eat pigs' ears in Madrid. I will never forget the first time I did, towards the beginning of my time there. I was in a bar, watching a football game with a fellow Englishman who had lived in Madrid for many years more than I had. Let's get some pig ears in to watch the game with some beers, they said. With no pork scratchings in sight, it was one of those moments where I realised I was in a new land and how exciting it was. Orejas a la plancha (pig ears on the grill) are usually served with a spicy tomato sauce, similar to patatas bravas sauce.

Be hypnotised by a bubbling dish of gambas al ajillo at La Casa del Abuelo

Because sometimes, just sometimes, I eat socially acceptable food in Madrid. What better way to blend in with the crowd than with a sizzling hot terracotta pot of garlic prawns and chillies, with enough olive oil to create an oil pool in your stomach? La Casa del Abuelo is the spot to try this glorious plump sea of prawns, where you must also try their sweet chilled red wine, made by the family for generations, which they serve in the traditional stumpy glasses (which they also make themselves to keep the tradition alive). If you were in Madrid 100 years ago (when this place opened), all of the red wine was like this: fortified, sweet and chilled. (Perfect for the dry heat of Madrid), and perfect for cutting through the oil of those prawns.

Egg and Chips Forever

I can't think of any food more frugal than eggs and chips. Neither can I think of a food more loved by Madrileños. Just ask any man in Madrid what his favourite Spanish dish is, and 80 per cent of them will tell you huevos rotos (egg and chips); sometimes with jamon, sometimes with chistorra sausage (as pictured above); however, you have them, they are just always the best. Egg and chips take centre stage at Los Huevos de Lucio on the famous tapas street, Calle Cava Baja. Well, they took centre stage at my table with absolutely no regrets.

---

Hungry for more? Sorry, that's for next time.

I am so incredibly grateful that you have made it this far. If you find my words palatable, please spread them far and wide.

I hope you do, even when I am talking about tripe.

All my love, that bloody foody that is, Lana,

x